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Vote Commie! It's Good for You!

I no longer want one party to have both the Presidency and Congress. The Republicans have cured me of that. They're worse than the Democrats!
A few months ago I decided I was never going to vote again. But I've changed my mind. Let me explain.

I voted for Bush, not because I thought he was anything more than a mediocrity, but because I considered Al Gore to be certifiable. I thought George was an essentially clueless ex-frat-boy and ex-drunk who would have wandered through the presidency leaving no mark whatsoever.

Instead, we were saddled with a nut who thinks God not only chose him to be President, but who also believes God talks to him. And he's started World War III. My response to this: AAAHHHHH!!!!

I mean, crikey! The Republicans are supposed to be small government. Instead, we have a Republican Congress and a Republican President out-Clintoning Clinton in the expansion of government!

So, I have turned to the wisdom of the Founding Fathers. They purposely set up the federal government in such a way that they hoped it would always be dead-locked. That's the purpose of the three branches, of the checks-and-balances. So that the feds can't do much of anything.

Since we are currently saddled with that hideous Black Thing known as the federal government, and I can't drop it, Blob-wise, at the North Pole where it would be frozen solid, instead I can at least vote so that it'll end up dead-locked.

I no longer want one party to have both the Presidency and Congress. The Republicans have cured me of that. They're worse than the Democrats! I want one party to have the Presidency, and the other to have Congress. Then they'll be at each other's throats, and little will get done.

So, I am holding my nose, and come election day, I will vote Commie for president. Yes, I'm voting Democrat, which is something I've never done.

I don't even care who the candidate is. It doesn't matter. They're all buffoons and poltroons, liars and lowlifes and creeps and a lot of other things I can't write.

If we are going to have a Republican Congress, I want a Democratic President. The way these jerks say one thing before getting elected, and doing something else after they get in, for all I know, if Al Sharpton was elected he might turn out to be a libertarian. Stranger things have happened, like some whackjob thinking he's God's main buddy on earth.

Don't tell me to vote Libertarian. They stand no chance whatsoever, and always will until they realize the main purpose of libertarianism isn't to invite the entire Third World to America.

I will pull that lever with glee, because I'm actually thumbing my nose at both parties. If we had a Democratic President right now, and he was doing the same things Bush is doing, the Republicans in Congress would be all over him, opposing him at every step. To which I'd say: YAY! That's what I want! A federal government frozen as solid as a Popsicle outside in Siberia for a year!

I have no idea what I will get if a Democrat is elected President. But I know what I'll get if Dubya is re-elected. More of the same. Invasions of Syria and Iran, maybe? Who knows? What's he going to do? Chase those non-existent "Weapons of Mass Destruction" through Syria and Iran to Egypt and Libya? You can, as Yogi Berra has said, include me out.

I do owe George Bush some thanks, though. He's shown me you can't trust any politician. He said one thing, and he's done the exact opposite.

And he's shown me, that even though Republicans and Democrats will always be at each other's throats, there is, ultimately, not a dime's worth of difference between the two parties.

February 4, 2004

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