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NEW MIDDLE SCHOOL NEWSPAPER ARTICLE

My first article was the one about marijuana that the school refused to print at first. Here is my second article..(tell me what you think)
"What's money? A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and goes to bed at night and in between does what he wants to do."
--Bob Dylan

MTV will tell you what your next cd should be. This cd might come with a free DVD or a free poster; perhaps some special "bonus tracks." Anything that will get you to buy it.
In my generation of "music," musicians who write their own songs are sacred. The talent is not needed. A pretty face helps though. New rappers will continue to make millions of dollars in their new soda adds. Britney Spears will continue to strut around naked on stage, lip-syncing of course. Attending the concert and listening to the cd are one in the same.
Music has lost its power. In the 60's, great musicians and bands like Bob Dylan and Pink Floyd would create music as an art form, not for money. Commercialism has made our generation lazy. Everything is now faked and fed to us on a silver platter, no longer allowing us to think for ourselves.
Movies are no longer praised for plot or art value, but rather for the size of the explosion in that familiar car chase.
Clothing that was once considered "punk" in the 80's is now bought as another trend at stores like Hot Topic, which happens to be owned by the corporation GAP.
The artist and the businessman used to be two separate people. Art was free. Now, the business has taken it over. Taking a line from the great film EASY RIDER, "A man is not free when he is bought and sold in the marketplace."
Many people wear the same clothes as the next person does. Many people listen to the same music as the next person does. And many people think the same thoughts as the next person does.
We keep staring at the television set, as it tells us what to think. We should all be strong enough to ignore it and turn it off. Once we do that, we will no longer feel the need to be the same as everyone else.
good message 15.Jan.2004 22:03

Ben Maras

As a college journalist, who has been writing and working in journalism for years I can tell you what I see in it. You had a really good intent, but at least to me, the point got lost somewhere. It didn't seem to be very cohesive, maybe the topic was a little too broad to tackle in 300 words. Maybe it would have been a little wiser to only tackle one aspect of this. You need more information to back up your claims, and by jumping around you're denying the reader your motives. You've got the right spirit, just needs some work. Keep it up, kid.

peace, love, revolution
-ben

Comments 16.Jan.2004 09:09

PortlandVegan PortlandVegan@hotmail.com

I agree with Ben. GREAT spirit and intents...
I took journalism last year, so I know a *little*... but then you have to keep in mind I got a D in the class. You do definitely need facts, and such to back up your opinion(I hope this is going in an opinion type column?)....Ultimately the article you have here is a lot of opinions and with nothing to back them up. Information should be sickeningly accurate... so comments like "Britney Spears will continue to strut around naked on stage," should be revised a little(she hasn't literally gone naked on stage).
I want to keep what I have to say about your article short and to the point, because I don't want to treat it coming with a bias, as I strongly disagree with the opinion of this article. In an effort to not get too critical and such, my only suggestion is to make sure that when you publish a news article you ought to make sure you don't come purely from opinion, but approach a subject with facts as well.
Keep it up! :)

right on! 16.Jan.2004 21:14

sherry

You hit the nail right on the head. You said it all.

Writing 16.Jan.2004 21:19

Bill Shakespear

Its obvious you have talent, you just need to suffer more. Get added perspective by interviewing homeless people and filthy rich bastards.

Good luck and never stop writing.