Diary of a Premptrist
Today I got up and found my newspaper on the front porch, but I don't think I'll leave a tip for the delivery person and I may even phone in to the distributor and complain because tomorrow he MIGHT not deliver my paper. I've seen him giving me a funny look a few days ago. I think he's up to something.
Today my neighbor and I were talking and he didn't mention the giant photo of President Bush and the capture of Saddam in today's newspaper. Obviously he not only doesn't care, he probably supports the terrorists and his not mentioning this great victory reinforces my belief that I must report him as a suspicious individual BEFORE he commits a terrorist act.
Was going to drop the car off at Jiffy Lube for an oil change but they might leave the plug out, causing all the oil in my car to drip on the ground and the engine to fry. The Better Business Bureau shall hear of this!
Searched my secretary. She laughed at an inappropriate joke and will probably do it again.
Didn't go shopping after work. What the hell. There won't be any parking places there anyway. Did the drive through at Jack In The Box instead and punched out the plastic manniquin above the loudspeaker. I know they spit in my food and that will show them.
Spent the afternoon putting up the air conditioner. I know it's the middle of winter but we might get a freak heatwave and then where would I be?
Didn't rent videotapes to watch during dinner. Waste of time as I will probably buy a new compact disk player and don't want to subject myself to inferior images.
Knelt to pray by my bed, but decided to bag it. I'll be dead soon anyway.