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The Weekly "Things I Would Hate To See Happen"

Most of you know by now that when I say "weekly", I usually mean "probably only this once, because I will quickly lose interest in this topic".
I would hate to see people use crazy glue on the products of retail clothing establishments who indulge in fucked up business practices (slave labor, child labor, etc). I would hate to see people buying glade plugins, tearing open the smelly cartridges within, and smearing the smelly goop (or some other overpoweringly smelly substance) upon the doorhandles of fucked up businesses. I would hate to see people randomly slashing cop car tires. I would hate to see people throwing tacking nails into slow traffic (fast traffic + flat tires = wrecks with people getting hurt, possibly even pedestrians on the sidewalk = even worse). I would hate to see a large group of people dress up nice, go separately to a restaurant who is affiliated with the PBA, sit down and order food, and as soon as the food reaches the tables, get up and leave all at once. I would hate to see someone pour a large amount of red food coloring into some recycled water fountains (like the one at the Rose Garden) to make a statement about murderous social injustices around the world. I would hate to see every Oregonian box I come across covered in Sharpie graffitie and/or stickers saying things like "corporate/government lies" or "nothing but stinking buggery bollox here" or "this space for rent to right wing interests". I would hate to see people spending their hard earned quarters to open up said Oregonian boxes early in the day and remove every newspaper therein, and then thrust said newspapers into the street, where the rain would quicly turn them into paper pulp. I would hate to see people begin to unscrew radio antennae from suv's and hummers and use the bases of said antennae to scratch inflammatory messages into the paint jobs of said vehicles and then leave the antennae under the drivers' side windsheild wipers of said vehicles. I would hate to see potatoes buggered into the tailpipes of aforementioned vehicles. I would hate to see sugar pured into their gastanks. I would hate to see critical mass riders who are in the back of the pack begin to affix boxes of caltrops to the backs of their bikes so that they need only pull a cable to release a tire flattening horde of little stinging wasps upon the road the likes of which will subdue any oponent who rides behind them. I, in short, would hate to see people take things a step further and practice a little anonymous sabotage. I mean, it's not as if you will likely be caught, and therefore, I think that you should refrain from participating in this sort of behavior. I certainly haven't ever done anything like this....

And finally 16.Dec.2003 00:47


I would hate to see WordPad come with a spell checker (shoulda used notetab).

To Clamydia 16.Dec.2003 02:03

Migratory Bird

Ya, what happened to the grammar nazi? not that I am going to use any spell check, too fucking creative for that. (lazii)

Something I would hate to see... 16.Dec.2003 07:24


I would hate to see, during the Cheney visit while all of the police are busy protecting protestors, things like the above hapening all over town... It could even be worse. There will be very few police to respond to anything that were to happen, such as highways or bridges being blocked by people or burning dumpsters, vandalism of corporate chains which are so important to the local neighborhoods, or direct action against businesses that support the republican party which we all respect and love... I would hate to have overworked and underpayed officers running all over town trying to catch up with flashmobs or critical mass. It would be sooo unfair to them seeing as they probabally have no backup or relief. It would be even worse if this kind of thing were to continue through the night and well into the wee hours of the morning, none of the proud Portland Police would get any sleep.
I would hate to see that...

Simple,Sweet 16.Dec.2003 09:31


I would hate to see someone head out to East Mill Plain in Vancouver at one of the busiest intersections, take some duct tape and tape the little pedestrian walk signal button so that it messes with the lights and effectively shuts down traffic at rush hour, say on any weeknight at 5:00 or 5:30. That would be terrible, and wouldn't be fun to watch from within a restaurant or coffee shop.

wait a minute...let's think this thing through thoroughly 16.Dec.2003 09:32

recall August 2002

Great idea! But, before it's implemented, let's think through a lot of it more thoroughly. This business of wearing out the PoPo's
and thinking they've no "reserves" is not all that wise! Just recall that in August 2002 when Bushit came to Portland and stayed
downtown, and the Krazy Kops peppersprayed little tiny babies, and thugged all about in their out-of-control frenzy, that it was--at
least for the most lamentable instances--primarily the "loaner kops" from the surrounding area that lacked proper training to be
able handle themselves in dealing with large crowds and thus, were guilty of most of the overreacting. The most guilty of these
offenses was the "Mountain Meadow Boys", i.e., the Danite Kops that will beat the shit out of you for failure to instantly obey and
bow to their supremacy. While it's possible to fully account for action/reaction of the PoPo's (to a largely predictable extent), it's
another thing altogether to fully account for these rash country bunkin's they'll likely use as reserve backup. So, all I'm warning
is that when undertaking serious planning, do be sure to think of ways to neutralize and checkmate these characters...should
not be all that difficult, if you put your brains to work and make it a game of intellectual superiority, rather than mere muscle
superiority (which, it given...they'll best on this...big beefy characters, how could they not?). Anyway...have fun...lots of it too!

PS: to those of you that doubt this warning...remember the late-Kendra James...what do you think she was facing? OK! Allbeit,
they were PoPo's, they were relatively new-comers to that scene, but their previous stage was exactly the country bunkin stage!

Check it out Clamster 16.Dec.2003 10:09

Dodi Reyahd

Well it looks like Clammy is gonna be busy this holiday season.

In re: to a spell check, go here:  http://www.iespell.com/ It works quite well in the format such as this one.

recall 08-02 16.Dec.2003 10:56


YES. Yes the locals will be busy but they will be beefed up, or weenied up, by Beaverton (you know where Andy lives) Kops and State Police. But the rule of make it cost them something is good. And now for a short story. During the cold dark days of the depression, the one in the thirties that has never ended for minorities, actors Humphrey Bogart, David Niven and a few friends where in NYC getting drunk when we came up with this plan. They used the Chrysler Tower is their target, ID'd the tenants in certain offices, sent them letters poising as the Electric Co. asking offices to keep there lights on overnight saying they would receive a credit and that this was a test. In essence they spelled out FUCK YOU on two sides of the building. It was of course caught but they made their mark. I am not suggesting anything so involved.

Let the police mass in one area and have multi-mini-demos (MMD's) throughout the city. One thing is, this doesn't need "organizers", each and every self contained cell could do their on thing. And still be at the Big Soirée.

What about the topography? 16.Dec.2003 11:53

tactical terrain advantages

Say "a group" is downtown. Oh let's say 2nd & Burnside. The topography of the area (the land formations) increases in elevation to the south south west of that intercection. This can be applied to any situion. The topography of the east side also increases as you head further east of the river. Making sense since most waterways nestle in revines. My word of advice is to find a topographical map of the portland area. Remember to stay upon the ridges as much as possible. This will alow you to be at an altitude advantage of any popo. Objects with wheels will also be to your advantage. Obviously you may want to plan to bring some of the best and most physically fit along with you in this venture being that the stroll through the streets will be most uneven. Remember that this will erk them a little. The Popo won't want to be at a tactical disadvantage for long. They'll be brutal and try to get you off the ridge. Plan a route with several escapes. And try if possible to keep a good buffer between them and climb higher when the get more aggresive. This will tire them out... They won't want to follow you for long on foot. This will bring their SUV robo cop carrying transportation out and away from the rest. Unless they decide to make a grip of bike and foot cops chase you up the hill, but this doubtful. At the end of the day the popo will probably devise a good plan to deal with you and you'll go like the lamb to the slaughter (possibly). It won't take many of you. And your help and sacrice would be appreciated by the people at lower elevations. And if there is few enough you can also disolve escape. Let the po go about their next objective. Reorganize and do it again somewhere else. It'll keep 'em busy and disorganized. Given the spontanuity they will be unable to plan against it.... Keep strong

Another Don't 16.Dec.2003 12:27

2 4 6 8

Don't everyone bring a quart of oil for the veep. and spil iit in front of a police advance. They could loose their footing, then get made(r) and shoot someones baby. Remember they are pack animals never alone, be the same.

Would be a darn shame 16.Dec.2003 16:48

Loyal Republican

if individuals and businesses supportig Bush/Cheney faced such horrid vandalism and profit loss at the hands of you filthy radical thugs, that they themselves were forced to beg the city to refuse Republican fundraising events in the future. What a travesty it would be if people were too scared to donate to Bush's reelection campaign! How ever could we rule the world then?! Oh, I think I need another Valium. Butler? Bring me my pills!

Loyal Republican...don't forget the bottle of alcohol with them Valium 16.Dec.2003 18:10

the Demo Doctor

Dear Loyal Republican, please don't forget to drink a bottle of good scotch with them Valium your
going to take...they'll make you feel good and really help the rest of USa! (wink! wink!) Also, as
your internet health consultant, I give you permission to double up on the Valium...even triple it?

Pass the Demo Doctor's advice around to ALL your Republican friends, that way you'll be able to
get together in the bye and bye, as you go to new places and have new experiences real soon!

Loyal Republican 16.Dec.2003 20:38


I love you let's get married. Please beat me, whip me call me a 'filthy radical thug'. Hey sweetheart did I tell you about the Tree of Shame in Pioneer Square. Every light on the tree stands for a baby you and your fiends have killed since Bush was appointed. Aren't you proud of youself. But payback's gone to be a bitch love. See you soon.

Another don't 16.Dec.2003 20:49

My little dolls, yellow dolls mommy's little helper

Don't any of your radical thugs use any published addresses to harass people just because they support mass murder. You motherfuckers have no right to come after us, we spent our whole lives not being responsible. We know there is no way to stop you causing extensive damage. But I demand you do not to take away our entitlements. Don't you cocksuckers make smoke pots out of waste oil, or even think of closing roads, or putting defoliants on golf courses. You people make me sick always crying about justice, we give you justice we will kill all of you just give us four more years.

don't mix chlorine and ammonia...bad business! 16.Dec.2003 22:28

the chemist

You absolutely don't want to do this: buy cheap jugs of chlorine bleach and jugs of ammonia.
Take 'em to "wherever" and those with chlorine pour out their's on the pavement as the cops
are marching towards 'em, and then cut 'n' run (real fast) to the rear of the crowd. The crowd
will have to part for these brave souls. Those behind who are holding the ammonia jugs are
next to pour out their's...quickly, onto the spilled chlorine. Then they run...ALL run and back up
to get away from the slowly evolving cloud of "stuff"! Good idea to have gas masks or at least
paper face cups with gauge filled with peppermint oil in case one takes in a lungfull. Should
the robothugs march on into this cloud, some will likely fall down gasping for breath, as there
is some minor quantites of phosgen gas (made famous in WW I) and it'll most likely NOT be
damaging to any of 'em, except break their stride, give 'em a good headache, and if they're
not yet wearing gas masks, this will force 'em to put 'em on for the duration of the "action"...in
doing so, then the cumbersome gas masks further restricts their mobilitiy, range of vision,
and ablity to stay focused upon their task at hand. They NEVER want to have to wear their
gas masks...except only when needed and only as briefly as possible, and if you've forced
'em to wear them for long stetchs of time, then it seriously impacts their functionality! So,
don't ever do this...mixing such cheap easily obtained commodity's like this...just don't!

PS: another reason NOT to do this is that it could waff over the cloud over to the crowd of
Republican fat-cats coming to the venue, and being they so fat, they'll not be able to be a
moving away from it in hussle fashion...they'll be waddling....this could be BAD for 'em, as
they could get sick for this "if" they've not brought their own gas masks with 'em and have
'em on beforehand...so, like I say, don't do this sort of thing...it's super nasty business!

pleeze don't throw copper B-B's on the pavement either 17.Dec.2003 07:32

rough walking

Whatever you do, pleeze don't be throwing copper B-B's on the pavement in the face of advancing PoPo robocops! Even though
they are cheap as hell (relatively speaking!), they are really nasty for folk's trying to stay upright as they do the crazy crab-walking
gait their trained to do. And whatever you do, don't dare coat them before hand with Crisco or lard, as that only makes 'em all
the more tacky, and this cause 'em to stick better to the soles of the shoes. Wow! That'd be terrible with the status symbol of
the thug-boot-in-your-face being quickly turned into "roller skates", as not many people are that well coordinated to make such
an instant transition in maintaining equiliberium! So, be like Nancy Reagan on this matter when people come to you and ask
you to throw lard-coated B-B's, just say "No!" Oh! Another really bad thing about lard-coated B-B's besides the obvious lubri-
cation factor, is that being copper, they're not so easily picked up by the large magnets these hyper-funded (against all contin-
gencies) agencies have at their disposal, and most especially so, if they're let exposed to a negative ion generator for about
5 minutes while still in the little plastic bags just before taking 'em out for "whatever" useage you may have for them. So, like
I say, just don't dare use 'em.

mustard gas idea = not good 17.Dec.2003 11:07


A: Wind could blow gas backwards into protesting croud.
B: The effect it may have on a line of cops would seem to be only temporarily destabilizing, whereas if anyone got nabbed for doing this, they could probably face attempted murder charges (even though you're not really trying to kill anyone).
C: If some cop with asthma actually DOES die from exposure to said gas, you are really up shit creek if you get caught.<p>

So, the risks of what might happen if things go wrong or if you are caught far outweigh the minor tactical advantage one would gain from this idea. The lubricated copper BB idea seems much better to me, but I still wouldn't do it or advocate doing it, because it might be iwegaw, er illegal.
BTW, I mispelled a lot that night because I was drunk and in a hurry. I have a spell checker, but I hate taking the trouble to use it. Also, being a grammar nazi and a spelling nazi are two different things.