In The Beginning
In the Beginning was The Plan.
And then came the Assumptions.
And the Assumptions were without form.
And the Plan was completely without substance.
And the darkness was upon the face of the faithful.
And they spoke among themselves, saying
"It is a crock of shit, and it stinketh."
And the faithful went unto their Pastors and sayeth,
"It is a pail of dung and none may abide the odor thereof."
And the Pastors went unto their Vicars and sayeth unto them,
"It is a container of excrement and it is very strong.
Such that none may abide by it."
And the Vicars went unto their Secretariats and sayeth,
"It is a vessel of fertilizer, and none may abide its strength."
And the Secretariats spoke amongst themselves, saying to one another,
"It contains that which aids plant growth, and it is very strong."
And the Secretariats went unto the Vicar for Administration and sayeth unto
"It promotes growth and is very powerful."
And the Vicar for Administration went unto the Archbishop and sayeth unto
"This new plan will actively promote the growth and efficiency
Of this Archdiocese, and in these Areas in particular."
And the Archbishop looked upon The Plan,
And saw that it was good, and The Plan became Policy.
This is How Shit Happens