portland independent media center  
images audio video
newswire article commentary global

faith & spirituality

Faith, a manifesto : Part 3; A reason to have faith

In parts one and two of this manifesto on faith, I discussed examples of failed mysticism, using the examples of failed mysticism in the ancient Jewish and Christian traditions. My purpose in discussing this issue was to help prepare the ground for a discussion of certain very strange experiences I have had which are the seed bed of my faith in the future, while at the same time, hopefully, I can help people to avoid the pitfalls encountered when mystification is used to attempt to explain the unknown and the uncertain.

Faith, a manifesto : Part 3; A reason to have faith

In parts one and two of this manifesto on faith, I discussed examples of failed mysticism, using the examples of failed mysticism in the ancient Jewish and Christian traditions. My purpose in discussing this issue was to help prepare the ground for a discussion of certain very strange experiences I have had which are the seed bed of my faith in the future, while at the same time, hopefully, I can help people to avoid the pitfalls encountered when mystification is used to attempt to explain the unknown and the uncertain.

In two previous pieces I discussed failed mysticism, using the example of Jewish Prophecy, Christian Theology, and a brief reference to the book of Revelations as examples. I felt it was important to discuss the process of mystification and the resulting reverence for legends that results, since in this concluding piece I planned to discuss 'faith' and this involves discussing certain strange events that are not well understood at the present time. Events that are not understood are events that are prone to mystification. It was, after all, as the previous examples from the Bible indicate, ignorance which fuels the process of mystification, and when you follow the process through to its conclusion, you can see that mystification leads ultimately to contradictions, which leads to backlash and often victim blaming, and ultimately a failed mysticism, while it might survive by employing such tactics as 'blaming sin', will eventually collapse and disappear, falling into ruin under the weight of its own inaccurate explanation of the world.

Now in the case of Jewish prophets, the school arose in response mainly to environmental destruction. Previous to that time there were social problems, but this gross unfairness and inequality did not result in the rise of a school of prophecy. In fact, prophets, called seers in the earlier times, were typically found in the service of Kings and other powerful people, and much like folks working on a psychic hotline, they received payment for their predictions. Jewish prophecy only evolved to become the type of severe social criticism we find in the Bible at a much later time, and so it is fair to conclude that it was first and foremost, the destruction and desertification of the Middle East which spurred the rapid growth of the phenomena of Jewish prophecy over a period of a couple of centuries during the end of the existence of the Jewish Kingdom. There was a brief flowering of Jewish prophecy after the collapse of the Babylonians and the end of exile, and it was here that the failed mysticism of the Jewish prophets was revealed.

If sin was responsible for drought and desertification then it logically follows that punishment (exile to Babylon) followed by repentance and return would be followed by a magical restoration of the environment. If a rain god had magically destroyed the place then it followed that it could be magically restored. If it was not magically restored, which is was not, and the whole middle east is still ruined to this day, then it follows that it was not a rain god that destroyed the place, and the mysticism fails, because it was based upon ignorance in the first place. Something else was happening, something not understood at the time.

Now even though the understanding of Jewish prophecy represents a failed mysticism, in some ways we can see how even such failed mysticism might have served our ancestors. We can imagine the followers of the highly wrathful forest god, Dagon, blaming the drought on the wrath of Dagon, due to all that clear cutting. The repentant people would then go about planting trees. Time would go by, the forests would grow over decades. They might have halted the environmental destruction before it was too late, and then the myth would develop that Dagon, the angered forest god, had turned away from wrath, and healed the land, saving it from the threat of desertification. This would have to happen early, for once the desert takes hold, growing trees becomes impossible, and the environment would collapse.

Under certain circumstances, even a failed and erroneous mystification might have served our ancestors well. The prophets of Dagon would have survived, instead of disappearing as their mysticism collapsed, which is what happened to the schools of Jewish prophecy, since, as bad luck would have it, while they protested clear cutting and the destruction of animal habitats, they never made that crucial connection in their process of mystification, that would have led them to connect this destruction with the desertification, even if this connection had been factually inaccurate, but rather they placed their hopes upon a magical transformation, this belief logically followed from their belief that the destruction was magically connected to a wrathful rain deity. Even a factually inaccurate mystification can sometimes be fruitful, but only in the case where those so mystified stumble accidentally upon a system of myth which just happens to correspond to factual truth.

The mysticism of Jewish prophets came close to stumbling upon such a system. For example, they insisted that the destruction of the environment was a sin. Sin was punished, and that is why they lived in the desert. Killing off the animals, one of the results of habitat destruction, was a particularly bad sin. There are those alive today who would whole heartedly agree. However, the prophets did not deliver a unified message on this point, which may have allowed them to stumble upon a system of mystification that actually worked in the real world. They also preached that the rain god punished such sins by withholding rain, and thus they emphasized the magical powers of this rain god, rather than human action, and thus they set out upon a path would lead to failed mysticism and collapse.

Now I felt that it was very important to discuss the failed mysticism of both Jewish prophecy and Christian theology since I was building up to the writing of this piece, a manifesto on faith, and in order to write this manifesto I am forced to discuss events which are not well understood. I am ignorant when it comes to these matters, and for the most part, so is everyone else, and so this leaves us prone to the process of mystification, followed by legendary myth making, and when you follow the process through, eventually this leads to collapse as mystification tends to crumble under its own inaccurate understanding, unless mystification 'gets lucky' and stumbles onto something that actually works. I don't feel much desire to go gambling, myself.

However, I must speak, even when I don't know what I speak of, for the alternative is to just keep silence, for fear of false mysticism, and that is even more unacceptable to me than false mysticism with all its inherent dangers. By discussing the process of mystification and the rise of myth and legend I hope to draw attention to the dangers present, in the hopes that humanity, or at least a part of humanity, can learn some important lessons from our collective history, and thus it may be possible to discuss the poorly understood, the unknown, without plunging into the type of misdirected non-action that can typify the behavior of those who come under the control of false mysticism.

I have a very strong faith, and this gives me a great deal of resilience. It gives me strength, it motivates and inspires me, and I can take a lot of punishment and disappointment while not collapsing into hopelessness and despair. I tend to look at things with a ruthless, pitiless gaze, and then I strive to just tell it like is, even when what it is can seem awful or even impossible, and this causes me concern, for while I have certain resources that make it possible for me to survive, or even thrive under such difficult conditions, I worry that my ruthless, pitiless commentaries on the nature of the world and the nature of reality just weaken and depress those who hear me. That constantly concerns me, and so I feel compelled to write something about faith, the reasons for it, and this requires me to go off into the great unknown, into things poorly understood and very strange, and thus the danger of false mysticism, destined to fail, becomes a major concern of mine, which is why I precede this piece with two sections discussing historical examples of failed mysticism, using the Bible as a source of learning on this subject.

I have a lot of use for science, and I respect truthful, factually accurate descriptions of reality, whether it be a discussion of scientific fact, politics, social problems, or the economy, and this is true no matter how difficult or intractable the problems such brutal analysis reveals might seem to be. That does not stop me, but it might stop others, might defeat them, leaving them to seek out less ruthless critiques, which while they might encourage them that 'change is possible' since they are now going to seek small changes (the logic being that it is thus possible, and therefore not hopelessly depressing) this sort of diversion, away from the truly difficult analysis, toward the easier and more tolerable, in the end allows the process of disaster to continue unabated, since these small changes are not enough. We need ruthless, uncompromising truth telling, and brutal analysis of society which does not flinch, which does not water down or compromise, and this requires a deep reserve of faith and strength. For those wondering what my motives might be in pursuing the following strange sounding discussion, well that would be it in a nutshell.

I have a lot of use for science, but I don't have any use for a certain type of modern day arrogance that seems to me to be the product of a false sense of wisdom that has resulted from the practice of science. We assume that we know so much, and what we don't know will soon be within our grasp, if only we persevere with our scientific investigations of the world. What I think we fail to comprehend is that the universe is so unbelievably complex that we understand almost nothing. What we know pales into insignificance when compared to what we do not know. One of the great weaknesses of the scientific method is that the absence of proof, as defined by the scientific method, is for the purposes of science, enough to exclude certain aspects of reality. They don't exist, until science says that they exist. They disappear. Now for the narrowly defined purposes of science, this is acceptable I believe, since the rigors of the scientific method demand this approach. But there is this religious reverence for the scientific method that permeates society today which pauperizes the world, since there is so much more to life than science. There is for example intuitive understanding of reality, which has no place in science, and thus is denigrated, since science, it seems has become the new religion, and like all religions of the past, it is adhered to dogmatically. Only truths defined by science, which, given the paucity of what we know, are rather narrowly defined and only fractional, can be accepted, and everything that lies outside this tiny narrowly defined boundary is heresy.

Now I mention this not as an attack on science, since I value scientific inquiry, as far as it goes, while keeping in mind the severe limitations of the scientific method, and the consequence which is the narrowness of its world view. I mention this because the following discussion 'goes beyond what science knows.' Now science does not know these things, so I point out to you, that for the narrowly defined purposes of science, such things are not 'non-existent'. For science everything is non-existent, until the scientific method declares that they exist, and this is perfectly valid and acceptable, for the purposes of science, as narrowly defined by the rigors and requirements of the modern scientific method. However, I also have a life to live, and only part of my life and a part of my mind is given over to science, and the rest of my life is my own. Throughout my life I have been told that my experience and my intuitive understanding of my experience are worthless, invalid, not worth considering, and the reason for this is that what I describe does not exist for science. This is a disastrous failing, and one thing I hope to accomplish during my lifetime, is to bring to everyone's conscious attention this failure of science, which to my way of viewing things, is a consequence of dogmatism which has resulted from the elevation of science to a place upon the high and lofty empty chair of religion in our culture.

With that having been said, I am now going to describe a universe that is so bizarre that it cannot currently be understood (thus not being subject to explanation by science, but rather subject to the dangerous process of mystification, which I hope I dealt with sufficiently in the previous pieces). The point of the following discussion is to explain faith, why I believe, even though at the current time I cannot state with complete certainty just what it is that I believe in, since it remains shrouded in a great deal of mystery.

When I was 12 I was sitting at the dining table doodling, when suddenly I felt something, a presence, enter the room. I remember the 'presence' seemed to be localized, as I looked up in a certain direction at a certain corner in the roof of the room. This feeling of presence was real and convincing enough that it caused me to look up, to respond. I dismissed the sudden feeling as being similar to that 'deja vu' feeling people sometimes get, and was going to turn back to my doodling, when I heard a strange, 'tinny' sounding voice, almost like a whisper, speaking very fast into my left ear. The voice said, 'the telephone is going to ring. Your grandfather is dead.' I froze with fear. I thought to myself, 'I will wait and see if something happens now.' All my senses were intensified. I could have heard a pin drop at a hundred yards. I waited. Nothing happened, and once again I was about to dismiss the experience and turn back to doodling when suddenly the telephone rang. Now there is an experience I will never forget. The sound of that ringing phone was amplified, as though someone had turned the volume button to full, and each ring seemed to resonate through my entire body. I froze, once again filled with a feeling of fearful dread. I remained motionless, listening, as my mother picked up the phone, there was silence, and then the sound of the phone being dropped and crashing to the floor, and my mother fled up the stair steps weeping uncontrollably. It was about 15 minutes later that she came to tell my that my grandfather was dead, and I just nodded my head. I already knew.

The next three weeks were some of the strangest in my life. I was haunted. Ghosts were everywhere. They were watching us all, floating through the air. A breeze would rustle the sleeve of a shirt hanging in the closet late at night and send me into a fearful panic. I had no idea what had happened to me, but it scared the living daylights out of me. Eventually, after about three weeks, I calmed down, but I was never really quite the same after that. Over the course of the next couple of years I read every sort of ancient text, and eventually decided that I was in fact a Buddhist by nature. I also, for the first time, began to doubt the validity of my state religion, the religion of SCIENCE, and I moved science out of the space in my mind normally reserved for those beliefs one holds to with a religious conviction, and Buddhism moved into the empty spot.

Time went by.

When I was 15 my family went on vacation and visited Banff National Park in Alberta. One evening I decided to go for a walk. Our campsite was right at the very edge of the campground, surrounded by trees, and there was a path that led away from our site and into the wooded area, and I decided to walk along it. The path emerged beside a stream, churning with rapids. As I walked along the stream I saw on the opposite bank a large dome of rock, and what must have been a fire observation station perched on high. The sun began to set, as I continued walking and then it became dark. And once again I suddenly had that strange feeling of a presence, and once again it was so real that it caused me to react. I looked straight up into the sky. There was nothing, but that feeling was so strong it frightened me and I decided to head back to our campsite.

Now I went for a walk, not because I wanted to enjoy myself, but rather I needed to think. Looking back I can see that the event that took place when I was 12 affected me very deeply, even though I was not consciously aware of the process at that time. I was very worried. I had heard about the 'Green Revolution', the creation of large mono-culture farms, and the building of huge dams, which had caused huge numbers of very poor people to get shoved off their land, without compensation, and then shoved into slums. Babies were dying by the tens of thousands everyday from malnourishment. The world was being revealed to me as more and more horrible, a bleak, tragic place with a kind of toxic spiritual atmosphere that seemed to be ruining the people around me. As we grew to become teenagers people seem to become more ruthless, more unfeeling, as they were slowly poisoned by this toxin in the spiritual atmosphere.

I was depressed and despondent. Now since about the age of five I had always had a very strong faith relationship with 'God'. My mother had sent me to Sunday School, and I had been expelled for being a five year old dissident who rejected the cruelty of the Christian doctrine of hellish damnation (we start out on our paths very young, I suppose). While I rejected Christianity, I remember embracing God, and so as you might have heard of little kids having imaginary friends, God became my invisible friend, and we discussed everything. Well, as a teenager, this was beginning to collapse and break down, although a passionate fondness I felt was still there, but it was being severely tried and tested by the horrible things I was discovering about the world as I grew older and more aware.

After returning from my walk, after being spooked by that feeling of presence, I decided that perhaps I would make a last ditch attempt to salvage a crumbling faith. I said three prayers. The first prayer was 'look, I am a child of God, too, just like that Jesus, so give me a sign.' The second prayer I can't remember at the moment. The third prayer was 'you know that someday you are going to answer me, so why not just answer me right now, but if not, then never mind, for we both know I am going to carry on in any case.' Nothing happened. I gave up in defeat, and returned to my private struggle. I remember feeling tired so I leaned against the car and folded my arms on top of the hood. I rested my head upon my folded arms.

Next I felt something like ice cold water that seemed to 'rain down' from the top of the inside of my skull. It then over flowed and went down the back of my neck. It was an ice cold sensation. This was then followed by muscle contractions in my neck. There were a couple of 'tentative' contractions, and then one powerful contraction, and suddenly I found my head lifting involuntarily up off of my arms, as my neck muscles contracted, and then I was looking upward at the sky. In my field of view was a bright luminous object sitting stationary, and a small cloud just a short distance away. Suddenly the object accelerated and moved into the cloud. The cloud dissolved and there was nothing there.


An animated gif I made of the object which moved into the cloud.

I went into shock. I began to stumble around in a daze, and then rising up from behind the tree tops I saw a brilliant object rising in the sky. The air must have been humid for it was surrounded by a gigantic shimmering rainbow. The object was close and it was brilliant, and due to the effects of the refraction of a brilliant light off the cornea in my eyes, it seemed to be surrounded by four giant spikes of light.


A diagram of the object surrounded by the halo, which was published along with a letter I wrote at the time...

I wrote a letter at that time describing this event as well as everything that happened for the next couple of months in my hometown at the time, Melville Saskatchewan. I have posted scans of the magazine page containing my letter...

To see a gif image of the magazine cover, click here ->

http://www.awitness.org/graphics/cufor1.gif ... 9K

The date of the issue is not clearly visible in the above gif image. To see a blow up of that section of the gif, click here -->

http://www.awitness.org/graphics/cufor1b.gif ... 4K

to see gif images of the issue of Canadian UFO report featuring my letter and my drawing of one of these craft click below...

page one
http://www.awitness.org/graphics/cufor2sm.gif ...46K

page two
http://www.awitness.org/graphics/cufor3sm.gif ...46K

We returned to my hometown of Melville, Saskatchewan, and for the next three months these objects appeared over the town again and again, and were seen by many people. For example, I recall coming home one evening and finding my brother crouched below a window, with a look of shocked awe on his face, peering fearfully out at the night sky. He explained what he had seen one of these objects. A kid named Craig was out every evening with his telescope in a state of agitated excitement, and there was this group of really little kids who would gather like some congregation in a park and wait, watching the night skies. And there were others. I saw a long red cigar shaped craft, covered with multi-colored blinking lights, numerous brilliant white circular objects. I also saw three craft shaped like two inverted soup bowls placed together hovering in straight line formation over the roof of a cow barn just outside of town. They had that same glow one sees in those glow in the dark toys. One was that eerie greenish yellow color you associate with this type of phosphorescence. The second was brilliant crimson red and the third was a vivid turquoise blue.

About three years went by, and I kept quiet about what I had seen. But a kind of pressure was building up within myself, and I had to speak. I told a friend of mine by the name of Terry, and at his insistence we began looking for these objects. One evening we went out to the woods around Pike Lake, and we stood in a large clearing within the trees. Three of these objects then appeared rising into view from behind the tree tops, and we were surrounded on thee sides. I remember looking at Terry, and he had a look of horror on his face, and he looked at me as though I was Doctor Frankenstein. That was one of the most traumatic experiences of my life, and it was so bad that many years went by before I would even dare to mention what I had seen to anyone. Terry wanted nothing to do with me, and when I sought him out about a year later he gave me the dirtiest look, which let me know that I should stay away from him, and didn't do much to heal the trauma of what had happened to him, and thus to me, on that evening out at Pike Lake.

After that time, years and years went by and I told no one. This was one of the most difficult experiences of my life. It was on my mind every day. You hear about people thinking about sex five times a day. Well I am sure that I thought about these events five times five times a day. I would be standing in the midst of a group of people and it would be going through my mind, but I couldn't speak. It is difficult to explain to people just how distressing that situation was and I never intend to go through something like that again. I remember looking at the people around me and thinking 'they are completely clueless...they don't have a clue...they are living in a world that isn't real...they know nothing.' It haunted me. It still does.

As time went by my reluctance to speak about these events became a taboo. It became ridiculous. For example on separate occasions I was out in the woods with groups of 10, 20 and even 50 people when these objects would appear. The pattern was always the same. All conversation would cease. There would be dead silence as everyone stood transfixed by this object overhead. Now you might think that this would be a good opportunity for me to 'break the ice' but I remained silent. The subject had become taboo. I refused to speak about it. I remember on one occasion I had a job as tree planter out in the deep woods of Northern Alberta during a summer. Late one evening myself, and four others were in truck traveling down one of these remote logging roads, when suddenly the driver announced that it was time to stop, get out, and stretch our legs. I had this eerie premonition. We got out of the vehicle, and then suddenly over the tree tops one of these white circular objects appeared. The driver was glued to the spot. He muttered, 'is that thing ever moving fast.' He went into a panic, and ordered everyone back into the vehicle, and then with tires spinning he put the pedal to the metal and we were racing down that logging road. Once again, I remained mute. I said nothing.

A few years later I eventually did discuss the matter with a couple of friends of mine, and the result was a repeat of the Terry incident. I found myself out in the woods around Prince Albert Saskatchewan, when suddenly a small dot of white light appeared in the sky above us. My friend remarked that it was a satellite. Then the object changed direction and began speeding earthward, growing brighter and brighter as it plunged downward. It became a bright white ball and then changed direction again, and moved horizontally across the sky, and then just as suddenly moved back upward, and disappeared to a pin point and was gone. This was repeat of what had happened before, and my friends were traumatized. If I dare to mention what happened I get a dirty scowl and shut down on the spot. A few years ago I finally began to become more aggressive about telling this story, and one day I found a cop and a member of our local mental health community standing on my doorstep, and then I found myself committed to a mental hospital. I was desperate to get a friend of mine to open up and discuss the incident in the woods near Prince Albert, but it wasn't meant to be. I remember cooling my heels in the high security ward of a mental hospital, fuming with anger because when I really needed some help, it was not forthcoming.

Lake.ram (real media)

Lake.avi (windows or other avi player)

I made the above media files which approximate the appearance of this object seen by myself and friends in the woods near Prince Albert.

The story takes a particularly weird twist about two and half years ago. No sooner had I got out of that mental hospital than a few months later I started a website. I had reached the point where I could not keep silent anymore, the dangers of not keeping quiet not withstanding. It was November 2000 that I began to work on the website, and for the first few months I concerned myself mostly with posting commentaries critical of the doctrine that the Bible is 'without error.' This was basically a continuation of my protests at the age of five which had got me expelled from Sunday School. (There are some things that just don't change with the passage of the years.)

However, a few months later, as April 2001 approached, and the Summit of the Americas in Quebec city approached, a strange turn of events began to take place. Now for some reason I felt drawn to protest during that Summit of the Americas. I think it all started during those big 'battles in Seattle.' I felt so sorry for those people out in the streets in Seattle. I remember thinking, 'they don't know anything...they haven't got a clue.' It haunted me. It still does. I felt that I had to do something. I had to intervene.

Now somehow I got the idea into my head that the thing to do was to put a giant 'Eden Wing' made out of clouds over the Sahara desert during the summit as a 'protest banner.' This is related to a failed mysticism of my own, whereby I noticed the destruction of the American forests and the concurrent process of rejuvenation taking place over the Sahara, and I mystified the process, thinking to myself, 'God is destroying the forest and restoring Eden in the Sahara.' Eventually that failed mysticism collapsed under the weight of a pile of contradictory evidence (north pole melting, glaciers melting, global temperatures increasing, robins in the far north, and the list goes on and on...it was global warming induced climate change, not the divine intervention of God...I was luckier than an ancient Jewish prophet in that information was available that allowed me to toss off that failed mysticism rather than following it through to its logical conclusion, which would have meant collapse as the mysticism failed).

Now on Friday evening, April 20th, 2001, I began an email spam campaign. I spammed the planet. Newsgroups, all the major media outlets. The text of the message had something to do with 'flying to Eden with Yahweh on Stork Wings.' The bit about the stork was a mistake. It should have read 'Eagle's Wings'. I borrowed the symbol of 'flying to a place prepared in the desert' from a mythological symbol in the book of Revelations. A woman was being pursued by a fierce dragon, while she struggled to give birth, while the dragon plotted to kill her baby should it ever be born. She however escaped the dragon by flying on the wings of the eagle to 'her place, prepared for her in the desert.' In other words, to Eden, on the Sahara, which I saw being prepared. The idea was that those angry protestors on the streets of Seattle were the woman, she was pregnant, trying to give birth, and meanwhile a dragon was after here. She was to grow eagle's wings and fly away to Eden, being prepared for her on the Sahara, thus escaping from that dragon that was after her. That was the idea behind the symbol of an 'Eden Wing.'

Examples of the emails I was sending out to announce that 'Eden Wing' are linked to on this page - Eden Wing Press Releases (news group postings, since it is impossible to link to an email). You will notice that the date is Friday evening and sometimes early Saturday in the middle of the night (I spammed for perhaps 16 hours...I started Friday late afternoon and didn't stop spamming the planet until sometime Saturday afternoon).

Now those emails represent the worst press release ever sent out about anything ever in the history of the world. I state that I think that I finally 'have enough of a wing going' to justify making a video. There is no wing on those videos. There is a bit of a streak and that's all, but I suppose in my own mind that was enough of a wing to convince anybody that something was going to happen.

Wing animation real media

Wing animation Quick Time

Wing animation Windows media file (avi)


The media files above cover the period from Friday evening, April 20th, 2001 to Sunday afternoon, April 22nd, 2001. The graphic just below shows the finished wing shape made out of clouds. The stunt was a success. And it changed my life forever. Month by month, year by year I have been changing, and looking back I can see that it all began that weekend. Finally, at long last, I had an opportunity to get some things off of my chest, things I had been forced to keep hidden for so long, and the end result is that a great deal of anger I had been carrying dissolved as well.

By the way here is my 'Summit of the Americas' weblog page as I watched the protests unfold and waited for that wing...Summit of the Americas Weblog. I have not read this page for a long time so I don't have a clue what might be on it. Reader beware. It's probably some damn weird thing, perhaps full of a lot of potential failed mysticism. I don't know. For what its worth, there it is.

Two days later one of these craft suddenly appeared on live television on the cameras of the space shuttle.

No one has ever been allowed to see the tape, unless they were lucky enough to be watching the event live on television as I did. This was an 'historic moment' for me, since it was the first time one of these objects ever appeared on television, and this took place just days after that weird wing event, so the two events are forever linked in my mind.

I sent out the following email in an attempt to pry the video loose, so I could make a video file to post on my site, but no luck...

Subject: UFO on CBC Newsworld
Date: Wed, 25 Apr 2001 11:26:05 -0600
I was watching the space station show on CBC Newsworld when I saw what looked like a UFO go speeding by from the lower left to the upper left hand side of the picture. It was during the last minute or two of the show. Play the tape. Take a look.

Shortly after this the computers were knocked down on the space station. I understand there is supposed to be triple redundancy and it is odd to have all three systems knocked out, especially right after something like that happened. I then watched a tape of a terrified crew, and the next day I watched a very strained looking crew member attempting to give a casual looking interview.

To NASA's credit, they did acknowledge that they caught such an object on the shuttle camera, even though, probably for 'National Security Reasons' or something like that, the tape itself has never been released.

Offsite link on the BBC: UFO Video goes to Hollywood - a quote from the article: "officials at NASA are said to have asked to examine the tape, because they believe it shows the same type of craft once spotted by the space agency's own cameras during a space shuttle mission. "

The excuse of not releasing such information to the public would be that it would 'cause disruptive changes in society' but this society could use some changes, if you ask me, so I remain unconcerned, and besides the idea that people should live in ignorant bliss, for 'their own good' seems ridiculous to me.

The appearance of that object is confirmation of both the validity of that weird wing business, and it is also confirmation of that other story I was telling about the object at Banff, and there is the 'proof' if anyone was looking for any...

Once again that was a major relief for me, for finally at long last, one of those craft appeared on television. It was another load off of my mind, although it would be better, of course, if people were actually allowed to see that tape. But I am in no hurry (as if I have a choice). I've waited this long, I can wait a little longer. Actually, I can wait as long as I have to wait. That is just the way that I am.

Now having said all this, and having discussed the process of failed mysticism previously, I suppose that I can now, for what it's worth, turn my attention to defending 'faith'. You see, the world is not what it seems to be. The universe is much more bizarre than people have ever imagined. And I have to ask you to consider something...could it be the case that something this important could be taking place, silently, quietly, hidden from view, and given the gravity of what is involved here, can you seriously say that somehow this just doesn't matter. That it just isn't important.

Now what I find really remarkable here is that the Pentagon would know all about this matter. They would, of course, have the tape in question. Now perhaps you feel comfortable living in a world where a few people know and you, for example, know nothing. Well allow me to share the truth with you, so you can know as well.

You know I think I know something about what it must be like to be one of those Pentagon people, or even a White House staffer. You know, the whole business where you keep very very quiet, and don't talk about, for years and years and years. You know last year there was this little burst of activity on the various blogs and mags where people were discussing the topic - 'Is George Bush losing his mind.' Perhaps you remember. People were alarmed that the powerful people running the country seemed to be acting weirder and stranger all the time. I have an insight to offer on this subject (I used to wonder if they were losing their minds myself). You see, if you were secretly carrying around inside yourself what they have been carrying around you would be going a little crazy yourself. Its just not that easy to do. I know. I've been there. And not only that, it just keeps getting worse and worse. The only escape is to talk. Of course, they won't, so I think we can expect sporadic episodes of weirdness from those people.

Now at this point the question must be raised : 'what does it all mean.' Those of you who cannot learn to live with uncertainty, or have faith in the unknown, will probably be having a problem with me from this point on. I don't have all the answers. Currently I am the rebound, and I have been spending this year dealing with the collapse of my previous failed mysticism. Now that the previous mysticism I was operating under has collapsed I have no interest in rushing headlong into some new failed mysticism. So I am learning to live with uncertainty. I am learning to know that I do not know, and when you stop and think about it, the human race is always in the position of not knowing. There is always something we don't know, and like our ancestors, we think we know, and so it follows that we don't know that we don't know. It's only later that others look back and see clearly that we did not know what we thought we knew. The truth was there was much that we just didn't know, and that's the way it always is, and so therefore we might as well get used to living with not knowing a lot of things, and we might as well make the adjusts required to learn to live with uncertainty. We are human. These things are our constant companions.

I feel that the best way to avoid the potential for reconstructing a failed mysticism is to attempt to come to some understanding based on the available clues.

One thing that I can say is that none of this is happening in secret. The events in Melville were right out in the open. I have seen other examples of the same thing over the years, and certainly that whole business with the wing made out of clouds and the object appearing on live television indicates that we are not dealing with some people who desire secrecy. The secrecy that exists comes from the human side. As I mentioned, even when I was deep trouble, I couldn't get help, because people were keeping it a secret, even if it meant someone had to be locked for an undetermined amount of time, that was just to bad. And I kept a secret for years, so I can't be overly critical, even though at the time it really pissed me off, because I needed help. NASA is keeping a secret. So is the CBC Newsworld channel. The Pentagon keeps secrets all the time so this would be just one more. And you? Do you keep secrets?

So therefore, I think it is safe to conclude that we are moving towards a meeting with this people, and the determining factor would seem to be when human beings get around to it...they aren't exactly dragging their feet. And who knows how many other times they have been haunting that space station or that space shuttle. The government knows. The Pentagon knows. But they are keeping secrets. There are a lot of other people who know. I know, and I am no longer keeping secrets.

Now the reason this would be so important is that the world is never going to be the same again. Everything is going to change. Those big, huge, enormous problems we have, are going to suddenly look quite different, for the heavens and the earth are going to be shaken. We can expect resistance, because everything is going to crumble. Everything is going crumble and fall. It was all a delusion, so let it fall, I say. And besides, the first step in rebuilding a new and better world is that the old one must crumble to dust and fall. And it is going to fall. It is only a matter of time. Hard held beliefs are going to crumble and fall. Dogmatism and failed mysticism is going to crumble and fall. When you consider this, you can anticipate resistance. After all, the illusion of power and authority that attaches itself to such institutions as the Pentagon is going to crumble and fall, and they might not like being cut down to size like that. All of this is so important, and really, if you want to live in a new world, this is something you should be hoping for and working towards. You won't have to do it alone, because none of this is happening in secret. And its inevitable, and accepting that fact, and just allowing everything to crumble and fall is, therefore, I would say, a sign of maturity.

Now April 22, 2001, when that cloud shaped wing appeared, was also EARTH DAY. Another important clue. Now even though I knew it was Earth Day, I never made the connection. When you are in the grips of a powerful false mysticism you miss the obvious. For example, I was a big time debunker of Global Warming, and, in fact, on the weekend of Earth Day, in the shadow of that wing, I wrote a little something debunking Global Warming and dogmatically declaring that the coming destruction of the American Forest and the rejuvenation of the Sahara was not climate change, but rather the Divine Intervention of God. Well time went by, and I had to incorporate into my mysticism, the melting glaciers, the rise of global temperatures, the shrinking ice caps, because you know, of course God wanted to melt the arctic ice cap. They had it coming to them, the damn bastards. And of course God wanted to ruin crops for poor farmers on the Sahel, you know, by flooding them out. They must be terrible sinners those subsistence farmers. They got what they deserved. This is how failed mysticism collapses. The day comes when you try to shoe horn one to many inconsistent facts into that mystical system, and it collapses. Afterward, I remember thinking, 'Earth Day - didn't you miss the obvious message of Earth Day.' I did miss it, but that is what happens to people in the grips of a failing mysticism. They miss the obvious.

Now no human being can make a big wing out of clouds for Earth Day. You would need help to do that, and so then one could say that for some reason those who live in the heavens above are really worried about the earth. We should be too. You know when you follow a failed mysticism you don't worry. God's in control. When you realize that the situation is unpredictable and out of control, when you realize that global warming and climate change is underway, not a divine intervention, well then you get very alarmed. That is one of the bad things about mysticism. Its dangerous. You don't worry, even when you should. You get a false sense of security where none exists.

The episode outside the space station occurred concurrent with a massive failure of the computer systems. Those computer systems NASA uses have triple redundancy. There is the main computer, the back up computer, and the backup to the backup computer. To have a big wing made out of clouds show up on schedule over the desert, followed by one of these craft showing up on live television on the shuttle camera, followed by a triple failure of the space station computers is all to much to attribute to coincidence. So then, I think we can assume, without fear of becoming trapped in a false mysticism, that this concern for the Earth extends to a concern about the Pentagon, the major client of NASA, and so we could say that for the first time, on live television, the Pentagon was attacked from outer space. No one was killed, call it a shot across the bow. You have heard it said that 'there is a new super power - world public opinion.' Actually, there is a new super power alright, and the Pentagon should be able to understand that. All that junk you American's have spent trillions of dollars buying isn't worth shit. Someday, and I hope it will be real soon now, you will understand that. You spent trillions, and yet you are a backwards third world country. You are helpless. You wasted all that money.

No one impresses me. I am not over awed by anyone. They are all like nothing to me. Like dried leaves caught up in tornado, at the moment the storm breaks they are swept away like so much chaff. And that's something you should consider, if you are one of those people who moan about 'how powerful they are - how strong - how impossible to defeat or resist.' That really is bullshit. And someday you will know, and understand, and the sooner the better I say. We are moving towards some sort of an encounter, and I hope it is very soon. I would like to do everything I can do to bring that day closer.

I am at a loss here and I can't think of much more to say. I suppose then that I will have to confine my remarks on this matter to making the attempt to convince people that here we have something extremely important. It is not a 'side issue'. It is not irrelevant. It is of central importance. Unfortunately, I am on the rebound from a failed mysticism this year, and os I really can't say to much more, because I am dwelling in the land of uncertainty now. That's what happens when a failed mysticism collapses. You are left to pick up the pieces and start over again from scratch. The few things I feel that can say with any degree of certainty, I mention above.

And hopefully this will be inspiring. This brings to mind my motivation for attempting to write something on this strange subject in the first place. These are interesting times we live in. If only I could find some way to get people to understand that. You know, a few months ago, I read about a young forest defender, who became so despondent that he went into the forest and committed symbolic suicide. I wish I could have gotten to him and expanded his mind. Things just aren't as bad as they seem, nor are problems as difficult as they appear to be. I want to strengthen and inspire people, and I also want to wrench them free of that narrow, boxed in little world in which they live, where spirits are crushed and hope is as rare as diamonds. There is so much more to life than most people have ever imagined. But they don't have a clue. They don't know. And ignorance is not bliss.

You know, to me, no matter how bleak things may look, the future appears bright and shining. It is a future where the walls come crumbling down, where the heavens and the earth will be shaken, and only those things that can survive the collapse will remain standing at the end of it all. It is my hope that an understanding of this will prove to be inspiring and will strengthen and encourage people while we wait for our destiny to unfold, and we move into a future which holds the promise of sudden, dramatic change, a future which at present is hidden by mystery and uncertainty.


all links 08.Nov.2003 07:37


Faith, a manifesto : Part 1 : Jewish prophecy as Failed mysticism

It is interesting to note just how bound up the Jewish prophets were with their environment, and the ancient view of 'environmentalism' presents us with a lesson in failed mysticism, as well as teaching some valuable lessons in the theology of 'divine intervention.'

Faith, a manifesto : Part 2 : Failed mysticism in the Christian tradition
The progress of modern science has revealed that traditional Christian theology is false. This particular expression of failed mysticism could only be appropriate for the dark or middle ages, and is revealed as completely obsolete in the modern world.

Faith, a manifesto : Part 3; A reason to have faith

In parts one and two of this manifesto on faith, I discussed examples of failed mysticism, using the examples of failed mysticism in the ancient Jewish and Christian traditions. My purpose in discussing this issue was to help prepare the ground for a discussion of certain very strange experiences I have had which are the seed bed of my faith in the future, while at the same time, hopefully, I can help people to avoid the pitfalls encountered when mystification is used to attempt to explain the unknown and the uncertain.