I have seen so many people die today. Bodies upon bodies, children, soldiers and people of all kinds dead. I don't know how much more I can take. I hear stories of police beating and pepper spraying people blocks form ware I Wright this. I can't find any reliable information. No pictures no media coverage. I hear rumors that the war in Iraq is going very badly for the coalition. Part of me cheers and part of me cries.
I watch media reports on the BBC almost twenty-four hours a day. (I can't sleep any more.) I tried to get the Al-Jazeera English language web site to run on my computer, the device of my new found insanity. I find that hackers attacked the Al-Jazera site yesterday and it no longer works. I wonder who did it. Was it right wing nuts angry about the coverage of American prisoners of war or my own government trying to hide their failures? I don't know. I read more reports from the front.
I come across a site claiming to be from Russian journalists dedicated to the truth. I don't believe I can find the truth any more, thanks to fox news Channel and the pained expressions on the faces of the BBC news anchors as they report what might be the news. The Russian Journalists claim that the war is going very badly for the Americans and British. I read about casualty reports much higher then the ones given to us by the rest of the media.
I remember watching CNN as a child during the last golf war. I remember the luckiest man alive in Iraq. I remember watching him drive across a bridge thousands of miles away as allied bombs struck right behind him. I remember the miraculous patriot missiles shooting down Saddam's weapons of terror. I remember how years latter I saw the same government officials that gave us that good news admit that it was all lies.
The luckiest man alive was dead a minute after the bombs hit. Not one patriot missile ever hit its target. I remember watching my own government deny that veterans were dieing from a mysteries disease given to them as a gift for serving their country.
Now I watch a new war. I'm exposed to more lies. I want to stop the lies. I want the war to end and I want to sleep. For three days now I close my eyes and see nothing but death. I feel helpless to stop any of it.
More news reports come in. Stories of Iraqi solders firing on the people of Basra. I hear more stories of sand storms and see more scenes of death. I see pictures of fires burning in Baghdad. How many are dead I ask my self once again.
Days ago I watched police remove protesters from a bridge. I saw friends get shot with rubber bullets, and gas rise from city streets. I tried to help the protesters but there was nothing I could do, except look the cops in the eyes and bear witness. The police looked so uncertain, kind of scared in a way. Not the machine I expected.
I hear talk of revolution every ware, but nothing is done. The fake president of this nation does not care about are protests. He compared them to a focus group, anther appeal to the so-called majority. The people have no voice, and I'm starting to think that speaking is not enough. The news claims that the people of this city hate the protesters. The mindless zombies like flag wavers don't like interruptions to their delusional world. "Support the troops, bring them home" and I read on.
I wonder what was going through the minds of the suicide bombers in Palestine. Dead Enders: no hope for their lives, but maybe the future of their people. The suicide bombers kill others and the cycle of violence repeats it self.
Then their are those brave people who give their lives for peace like Rachel Corrie, but no one out side the activist and indy community seems to care. The government does not give a fuck. How do we make them care?
My thoughts wonder back to revolution. Violence for peace. It really does not make much sense. A scene from the movie Doctor strange love comes to mind. Marines fighting each other in front of a huge sign that says "peace is are mission"
The problem is I don't really think that the people in control of are country understand any thing but violence. I don't think they will all of the sudden go "OH LOOK AT ALL THE SUFFERING WE CAUSED MAYBE WE SHOULD STOP" I am starting to believe that are pResident is a sociopath: A person who can not tell the difference between right and wrong. Shrub like Hitler or Saddam will not stop his reign of terror with out a fight.
I just heard anther report of a soldier from Oregon who died in the war. I need a fucking beer then maybe a couple of shots followed by some weed, and if I still can't sleep......