from internal hell to external bliss, artist brings liberating message (with art
An artist finally goes crazy, except this time he's *consciously* plunged into the infamous Sea of Schizophrenia. Read what he's discovered! This news item is not for the devoutly "Normal" whom must hold onto cherished paradigms. Only for those stoned enough and/or lost enough who want to read news which might help liberate them (and do enjoy the accompanying deep innerspace artz! (article 1)
1) Arizona. A 37-year-old dreamer and underconsciousness plunger named 'Going Crazy' made history today when he became the second known radical's radical to jump into the Sea of Schizophrenia, swim around wildly for a few hours, and then hop back into Consensus Reality and articulate his findings.
Crazy, a leading artist with the Unbridled Artist's Syndicate, was "somehow able" to take some "extremely important" notes about his tour into the uncharted metaphorical waters of the great and little understood Sea.
"I am Going Crazy. CALLING OUT TO THOSE WHO CAN HEAR THIS!" Crazy said in hand-writing on one of his radical affidavits which is an outline resume meant for the marginally known indigenous thinker, John Trudell. "I intuited that i was actually sending John a message while i was so-called 'tripping out'. But i don't know if John actually received it at the time. Maybe, like with Chomsky, i'm on too much of a different wavelength for him, i dunno."
Going Crazy, who says one pronounces his first name like 'Boing', says he initially felt extremely alone and lost in a human community which seemingly cannot meaningfully listen or see the value of interacting with fellow beings who intuitively seek connection with the like-minded. "I naturally gravitate towards Mr.TrudellJohn, as I affectionately call him, because his message speaks so much beautifulness to me. More so than Chomsky, or most others I've been moved by, ever could." But at least Chomsky had the humanity or thoughtfulness to respond, unlike Trudell, whom apparently has his mind on other more pressing matters.
"I've only wanted to have John know that i am a guy with many gifts who could probably add much to what he's trying to do." Crazy goes further, mentioning the 1970s movie "The King of Comedy" with Jerry Lewis and Robert deNiro. "I can imagine that John gets a lot of nuts, and if he saw that movie, he'd probably have a good laugh. But i'm a lot more sane than Pupkin [who was played by deNiro]", Crazy said. Bringing up the part in the movie where Pupkin stoops to totally nutty lows in order to go on a famous man's comedy show, he draws a comparison with Trudell where he quotes Trudell as saying such unempathetic persons 'want to possess him and kill the part of him that they hate' about themselves; "but I want to point out to John that while i'm a 'nut'--how can one NOT be???--i'm the kind of nut that he would greatly enjoy, rather than have to fear."
Going wanted to make this plain, and he hopes that Trudell, or someone Trudell knows, will get a chance to read this and pass it on to him. Going also wants to give this message out to others. "I'm totally trying to put out this art and this message for people like Trudell out there. i want them to know that there are others like them. That we are far from alone, and that we could care for each other if we could get together in any way, shape or form."
Like the country song about the father who talks about his daughter with the 'heart of gold', Going received a notion in his Schizophrenic Sea plunge that said that he needs to remember those friends of his whom he already has made connections with whom have veritable "hearts of gold" themselves.
"I was really going out of my mind until i received that notion. I was really seriously considering making my final escape from this reality and trying to go into the 'afterdeath'. But there remains in my thoughts an idea that there is still reason for hanging on hereabouts, documenting my craziness and seeking to reach out. Anyway, i'm not certain that i'd be welcomed in the 'afterdeath'; so i figure i've got some things to learn still. And, well, i found some beauty in calling up a bunch of my longtime friends, the ones i see as having gold in their hearts, and listening to them and coming back to the space where i can stop my care from sinking."
In engaging Going in why he wanted to consciously jump into the Great Sea of Schizophrenia, Going said that he saw it as an option that he could go into rather than waiting until later to the point where he drifted off more completely into the kind of listlessness, depression, and lostness which marks those who fall into the Sea and don't even know it. "I'm the kind of person who wants to take 'the bullshit by the horns' if i can at all," Going said. "I don't want to find myself in the clutches of the 'trial by error' darkagers called psychiatricksters." That's psychiatrists for the unimaginative. "They don't know what to do, but they don't tell us; they just go ahead, keeping their status as 'expert' --as part and parcel to the Wizards of Is--[--Like Oz--] and reduce diverse humanbeings down into very political labels, dehumanizing us and stigmatizing us. So I want to avoid that whole trap. Makes sense, don't you think?"
"But I felt that it was time i went off the deep end for awhile. It was like a release. Some people scream at their spouse, or let loose at a Black Bloch event. Others take part in socially "acceptable" hatred towards a minority that's currently demonized. I felt I was doing myself a serious mental health service by plunging into this *nervous breakdown*-like experience and seeing what i found. I wish to avoid labels, but in the popular mind i'd be called a 'manic depressive'. That's mystifying language for someone whose spirit basically responds in a cyclic manner to the all too real insanity and severe alienation all around in the u.s.a. which passes itself off as 'Normal.' Aldous Huxley, Erich Fromm, and other articulate dissidents basically woke me up on that one."
When it came to the form in which Crazy utilized in order to enhance his pattern of non-assimilation into the imposed reality, Crazy prefers to keep that under wraps. "For those who can imagine, I'm in the 'two-tokes lightweight club'. It doesn't take much of what most people have to have a lot of in order to go where i go. Hell, many people figure i'm on acid, but i'm not." In fact, Going is "normally" so far out for most people that back when he used to be totally against using drugs ("back when I bought into the Spoonfed 'reality' hook, line, and sinker") people STILL looked at his art as though he MUST have been on illegal drugs. "That's something I used to be mad at. And even these days when I'm no longer mad at that, I still feel that *most people* don't get it, enamored to using drugs as a purely inarticulate escape as so many well-domesticated folks are. They can't seem to fathom the use of ganga as a serious tool for inner-seeking and self-depth questing."
Unfortunately, Crazy has not yet been able to find those who can see value in such inner-seeking methods. "They're either PhD's seeking other PhD's, or they seem to be unreachable inside marginalized indigenous people's movements. It's like you have to be lucky enough to be born American Indian, this time around. Or have made connections. And the highly domesticated people who DO know about these ways seem pathologically bent upon keeping people like me outside the reaches of the value of these connections. They certainly have never invited me, except for voyages seemingly much more for superficial interests; and they get all pissed off when I let my armor go and bear my truths into the open. What the fuck did they expect? Maybe I'm perceived as being just too off-the-deep-end already, I don't know."
Whatever the case may be, Crazy has chosen to do for himself in the absense of help from others. "I sometimes wish i could be invited to do peyote with some Huichol people, or that if i joined some North American Indians, that the insights i brought to the circle would be valued enough to be seen on equal footing to other, perhaps longer-time fellows. What i've been through cannot be conveniently reduced down to simply 'ego'." Crazy seems to despise this word. "Look, like i said, i have many gifts. And i have stood up for and spoken my unpopular truths alone several times, putting my life on the line. i have also done so with others. Why must i remain having to go this alone? Spirits helping me in my dreams and in my forrays into the Sea of Schizophrenia can only do so much. What good is living on this Earth, with this humanity, if other humans, particularly other articulate humans, won't reach out?"
And so this seems to be Going Crazy's biggest challenge. Feeling so alone.
"It's one thing to *know* that ultimately i'm not "alone"; but another thing entirely to have at least one companion who can articulately accept and celebrate this kind of beautiful experience and insight with me. Oh, i've shared it with a few others, but they were always quite apparently tethered to the dominant imagination. They couldn't seem to see beyond that. And so going into these wild-ass conscious group dreams was something you don't want to really go back into because of fear and of beliefs about sanity and such things, I guess."
2) To be read aloud, in 'News' style with 'News' voice, preferably on your local public access TV or radio show, but also perhaps as poetry at usually boring poetry forums:
"We are going more and more insane, don't you see?" said Dr. Ifyouare Crazyandyouknowit, who knows what he's talking about because he represents an institution you trust. In other news, misery and lostness, together with new forms of apparently tolerated aggression from quarters learning about when their handlers want them to fight covertly and openly, set a new record in the 'stupid masses' sphere. The rabble may be apathetic and disinclined to have anything to do with our political system, but they can always be manipulated to do the bidding of influence professionals hyping them to fear and hate. While those still having golden hearts (metaphorical beauty in their hearts called gold) continue plugging away at the apparent Trojan Horse InterNET, originally a military program, it's strictly business as usual for your serious mindset.
"Turning to local news, I's seek to ju-jitsu imposed "Normality" and have valiantly persisted against astronomical thought control deployments and intensely funded out-flanking strategy. Necessary Illusions, these imagi nations and allegedly "alternative" imagi nation stations remain as the only spoonfed reality that naive simpletons can be allowed to understand. Plugging away plugging plugging plugging away go all these ways. And me? We'll see. Tune in next time for what may or may not be. Meanwhile, don't forget about the ol' ima gine ation, the underground of the underground station's ation that you can still wonder about and toy with like an incomplete mad scientist. Who knows, you might even..."
see also www.intheheart.net for even more liberating ideas, beyond the pale of the oh-so-pale misery of polytricks as usual (especially in the 'solutions' section)
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