In the beginning (well, a few weeks ago) there were THE ZIPPERS. They appeared by the thousands, for free, and the people swarmed over them like ants on honey, gathering unto themselves every zipper they could grab, pocket, and stuff into sacks. Some wondered if it was some portent of a Biblical nature, a sign meant to warn or encourage the masses in these times of war and oppression. Others felt that the philosophical significance of the zippers was undeniable and tried to read the meaning from the metaphor they presented. The metaphysicists, theologians, and spiritualists began writing their tracts and counter-tracts over what the zippers might be. Some people called for a ban on zippers. |
While the scholars and naysayers argue over such questions, a grassroots movement sprung up, and soon the zippers were being seen everywhere: the Computers for Ecuador project, Laughing Horse Books and Critical Mass were quickly sumsumed into Zipperism, and it was clear even to the skeptics that the Zippers are a force to be reckoned with. When a Portland policeman refused a zipper at the bike ride, saying that they prefer velcro, many people felt they had their final confirmation.
Tonight, the Zipperists scored another victory when they infiltrated and took over the upper echilons of the Portland Peaceful Response Coalition. Here you can see the zippered fists of these leaders of the peace movement, held together in a pose of pride, strength, and determination. Zip up the War on Iraq! Zip down the Bush Administration! Zip together the people for peace and present a united front!
Where will the Zipperists strike next? Who will be the next group of activists to fall into their clutches? Stay tuned to the Portland IMC, your source for Zipperist news...