A list of fun things to do at Critical Mass:
1. THROW YOUR BIKES IN A PILE IN FRONT OF THE RIOT COPS!!!!! Ever tried to walk through a pile of bikes? How about a group of people trying to maintain a line formation walking through a pile of bikes? Or a horse trying to walk a pile of bikes.
2. BRING A WHISTLE. here's the protocol: If you hear a whistle, that means the cops are being meanies. Stop what your doing and move toward the whistle. Blow on your whistle too if you are in the same area. The whistle will mess with the cops psychologically and signal us to swarm the area where the cops are messing with people. In the past people have kept on riding ahead while cops were rough people up behind them. Let's show solidarity.
3. FORM LINES WITH YOUR BIKES. Yell "Line up" as a signal. Get off your bike and hold it in front of you perpendicular to the direction you are facing. Overlap your tires with the people next to you. This will form a solid wall of bikes. Do it in layers. Put padding on the side of your bike so people in front of you won't get too hurt if they get pushed in a bike behind them. You can move forward and backward by "walking the tires" (ie right side, left side, right side, left side...) Crouching puts you in a solid hard-to-knock-over stance. Smaller affinity group can form tight U's or circles with backs facing inward and bikes facing outward.
4. BUILD EXTRA SEATS ONTO YOUR BIKE so that people who get separated from their bikes can jump on and get away in a hurry. Banana seats and handle bars are good for this too.
5. FORM A ROLLERBLADE OR SKATEBOARD AFFINITY GROUP for increased manueverability. Link arms a lot. These folks could:
6. BRING RE-INFORCED BANNERS, LARGE INFLATABLES OR "CHINESE DRAGON" STYLE PUPPETS to form a defensive wall around the perimeter of the Mass. "Oil greed fuels war" is a good banner slogan
7. GROUPS CAN RIDE AROUND IN A FIGURE 8. Practice beforehand. Looks cool, confuses the police by being chaotic.
8. SLOW IN FRONT, LET THE BACK CATCH UP
9. HONOR A DIVERSITY OF TACTICS Interfering with people who are doing things that you probably wouldn't do yourself creates hurt feelings and disunity. It makes it easier for the police to divide and conquer us.
10. DO THE "REPEAT AFTER ME" Works like this: One person yells "Repeat after me" Every who hears her yells "repeat after me" (get it?) This goes back and forth for a few times until enough people have joined in. Then the first person says something really important that the rest of the Mass needs to know. Then everyone repeats what she said, really loud.
11. HAVE FUN, MAKE NOISE, MAKE UP GOOFY CHANTS, WEAR MASKS AND COSTUMES, THROW CONFETTI, PARTY AND MAKE THE CRAZY IN THE STREETS, KEEP IT POSITIVE!!!
If you like what this says please put it on a flyer and distribute it around town at activist spaces, bike shops and at Critical Mass itself. I'd do so myself but I can't for reasons I'm not going to discuss over the internet 'cause it's none of your damn business.