The Laughing Horse Book Collective has long been a modern-day casablanca for the infighting factions of the revolutionary and not-so-revolutionary left. Not so on Sunday, September 23rd! At approximately 9:30 PM, a key member of the local Zipperista faction made their way into the front door of the collective in what witnesses would describe later as "a flurry of whirling zippers". The person then made her/his way around the room, luring nearly everyone present into the arms of the Zipperist Party with promise that, once successful, they will "zip it up". Within moments and to 90% of the attending crowd, she/he had distributed blue, black, and grey zippers, and with them, the Zipperist craze.
This is not the first sighting of Zipperist agitators in Portland. One recalls the incident at Reed College last week in which four security guards were completely tied up with zippers, one sporting a large paper diaper which, when removed and unfolded read "The Zipperistas Will Zip It All UP!" Since then, there has been a seemingly endless stream of turmoil from the rank and file of this otherwise unknown and enigmatic group.
What is the International Zipperist Party? Who are these Zipperistas? What do they want? These are some of the many questions folks have in the face of our new concern, with only the cold, harsh sound of a sliding steel clasp in answer.