Their numbers stronger than ever before, the illustrious Portland Chapter of the Billionaires for Bush assembled their entourage at Lewis and Clark College this Sunday to make their voices heard on the question of Justice.
Brandishing their banner, which read "Scalia: Our Lackey Since 1986," and bedecked with diamonds and the furs of endangered species, the Billionaires waved their gloved hands graciously at the assembled rabble, posed for photos, and gave numerous press conferences.
"When the Supreme Court wants to know what to do, it calls
-US- for its opinions!" proclaimed Cordelia Hasteharvest. Philippa Casterquoits and Abigail Buckhaven reminded reporters that their man on the Supreme Court, Scalia, was worth every penny they paid to place him there, as he helped place George W. Bush in the White House after that nasty political scuffle last year.
Various members of the press reported that the Billionaires were under the protection of a menacing, leather-clad bodyguard for the first time at a public appearance. Others noted that a rare Albino Yeti fur was worn by one Billionaire, while another reported the group loudly calling out, "make way for wealth! Don't touch the furs!" and even chucking the chin of a small child, while suggesting to its startled parent that the child should begin earning its keep in one of the members' child labor sweatshops.