They Really Are Insane!
I didn't watch The Great Leader's speech the night of January 29, 2002.
I just couldn't take the sycophantic applause from the audience and media,
nor could I handle watching the Leader's facial contortions. So I read it
in the New York Times the following morning along with the reaction from
Congress. It was worse than I expected. Much worse.
These men and women have lost it. Their easy victory over the Taliban in
Afghanistan has convinced them more than ever that they and their military
forces are invincible. Consequently, in their minds, the world is theirs
for the taking and anyone who gets in their way is dead meat. Indeed, the
Great Leader even mentioned specific targets he had in mind. What's nice
about these targets is that they are very real nation-states and easy for
even us unwashed masses to find on a globe. However, this ease of
identification is also their shortcoming-after all, should the Great
Leader's armies attack one of these countries and decimate its lands and
people, there can be no more war. Since the absence of war would not be
good for the health of the state, the Great Leader has warned us that there
are still thousands of evil terrorists out there to go after, too. Hell,
one might even be working in that cubicle next to yours. Or maybe he lives
next door disguised as a mild-mannered suburbanite who grows vegetables and
roots for the Yankees. You can never be sure, you know.
Since we can never be sure, our Great Leader is encouraging us to join
his Freedom Corps and defend the Homeland. So, as we goosestep down to the
local police station to sign up (at least until they give us the
opportunity to do so at work or school), keep your eyes wide open for any
suspicious activity. For instance, why isn't that house flying an American
flag and why do the teenagers who live there have peace signs in their
windows? What kind of music is that blasting from the car of those kids
driving by? Are those lyrics sanctioned by the Freedom Corps? What about
those immigrants down the street who can't speak American? What are they
plotting? Why don't they go to your church? One can never be sure. Best
to report them to the proper authorities. Remember, in this new world
American freedom depends on denying other people theirs.
What about the big corporations? How are they going to help the Great
Leader's cause (oops, I mean our cause)? By taking our tax dollars and
building new and more lethal weapons of mass destruction, of course. And
by lobbying for more tax cuts and a fairer application of the minimum wage.
Heck, if there wasn't a minimum wage in the United States, those poor
corporations wouldn't have to export those American jobs overseas. Then
every US citizen could have a job first, just like in the days of slavery.
Of course, we'll have to get rid of labor unions. They always want
something that makes it difficult for corporations to be treated
fairly-like the eight-hour day and a minimum wage.
As for our kids, don't worry. They'll be taught the Pledge of Allegiance
from the first day of preschool. We'll make certain of that. Our youngest
Freedom Corps volunteers will report any adults who don't encourage blind
obedience to the State and its wars. Only through such vigilance will our
children be safe. Safe from freedom and safe from the dangers that freedom
See you at the Freedom Rally. Heil Freedom!!